3 Keys For a Flexible Big Family Mom Routine


I had my first day back to homeschool all planned out. The white board was ready, everyone’s schedules neatly printed out with handouts, orientation done the day before so we could just get ready, set, go.  Then someone woke up puking, the clothesline broke mid-morning with two loads of laundry on it, and the baby was waking up just as I was about to sit down to do the middles lessons. Instead of breaking down, freaking out or gritting my teeth to (barely) bear it here's what I did.

First, I took three deep breaths in through my nose and let them slowly back out my mouth.  I used to think this advice was kind of ‘woo woo’ mystical stuff that put me off as a conservative Christian woman. Turns out God designed our brain to respond to stress with the fight or flight response and we can gently take the reins of our physiological response by sending a ‘calm down’ signal to the amygdala part of our brain. I’ve tested it out time and time again, even while nursing a baby and it works wonders. 

Once my body was more calm I was better able to direct my thoughts to recall Proverbs 16:9, “The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” (NASB).  It’s a mystery why my best laid plans go awry and I understand my feelings when they do. However, holding fast to the core truth that God is sovereign over all the affairs of the universe, even my laundry line, saves my sanity by giving me an anchor of trust and resilience in the face of unexpected changes to ‘my’ plans. Perhaps God had a greater plan than mine to demonstrate to my children good cheer, a sense of humor and a woman who fears the Lord in real time. He knows why my plans changed and I find greater calm when I leave the mystery in His providential wisdom & care.

Lastly, I have learned how to create space in my calendar to reschedule the important tasks later in the day, week, month or even the entire year. By having already clarified our family values & goals I am able to quickly pivot, shift or drop plans.  Putting this into real time practice, I arranged a bucket and water bottle for the puking child and let him rest in bed until he wandered down hungry around lunch time. I hung out with my twelve year old taking clothes off the ground and talking about life together.  Lastly, after taking three deep breaths I nursed the baby while reading to the younger set of children.  Some day plans I shifted into that evening when things were quieter. It all worked out in the wash.

I’m grateful I had these flexible routine ‘keys’ in place so I could keep calm and carry on when my best laid plans blew up in my face. The kids benefitted in ways only God truly knows and I got through the first day back-to-homeschool with humor, grace and mercifully no more puking.

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