Balancing Big Family Extracurricular Activities

What if they could’ve become NHL hockey players?

What if they could’ve gone on to the Olympics?

What if I’m not doing enough to prepare them for their future?

 As a young mom I faced a bazillion choices and voices inside and out that had opinions, expectations and questions of how we’d raise our children. While I was trying to figure the basics of juggling day to day life with five children under five, the pressure began to mount regarding extracurricular activities that our more than average number of children would do.  Oh great, just one more thing to figure out.

 Rather than race to answer the question of extra curricular activities and reassure relatives that our children’s childhood would be just as good if not better than their small family Western counterpart, I slowed down and gave it some prayerful thought and discussion with my husband.

In addition to the logistics of time commitment, transportation and  budget there is also considerations of character development, social influence and values.  I unpacked these considerations and how we apply them in my big family of eleven children here.

A major consideration is the STRESS to everyone.  Increasing numbers of studies are showing that more activities throughout the week are resulting in overstimulated, overworked and overtired children. This is in addition to the stress of the parents who facilitate the driving, equipment, payments, calendar and more.

In our desire to ‘give good gifts’ to our children (Matthew 7:11) it is helpful to consider if the commitment to multiple activities spread throughout the week and many children will cause more harm than good.  An overly packed schedule can have temporary and long term effects on children that may go with them into adulthood according to the research in this study.

“According to health and medical writer, Sid Kircheimer, in her research states, ¨...in the past 20 years, the number of children who participate in organized youth sports has doubled -- yet  teens  who try out for their high school's sports team has reached an all-time low.¨ (WebMD).

This sudden increase of children in sports activities is a leading cause of new childhood stress not previously seen before. Just like adults, when children spend too much time on something, in this case, activities. This could cause them to lose interest further in life.”

Giving children ‘less’ may be in fact giving them more. More opportunity to exercise their creative faculties through imaginative play, unstructured free time, problem solving, exploration and discovery.  Big family moms especially can struggle with a cultural pressure to have their children fit in, compete with and otherwise follow the same path that many smaller families do regarding extra curricular activities. To do anything less is assumed to be pitiable, negligent or downright harmful.

 I have found that clarifying our family values helps us set our family goals and in turn our schedule, including any extracurriculars.  Some seasons we have done family activities that multiple children and even a grown up can enjoy such as local musical theater, jiu jitsu or dragon boating.  Other seasons we’ve given older children opportunities for an outside activity that works well with our schedule, budget and priorities for adult life preparation.

My big family life may look different than other families of varying sizes and that’s ok.  If our children wish to pursue hobbies, interests and skills as they become adults they will be empowered with the confidence, ability and values to make wise choices for themselves. I trust that the ‘less is more’ philosophy we held to in the early years will bless them in their adulthood with the desire and ability to learn, do and simply be.

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