Connecting With God as a Big Family Mom


I used to think God was keeping a report card for the different areas of my life.  Every time I had (another) baby my routine would be shaken up for a few weeks. I’d get off track with my daily Bible reading & prayer routine. In the weeks transitioning back into homeschooling, running our big family home, and nursing the baby, I’d try to get back to what I could accomplish before yet it was a struggle. There was the report card in the back of my mind with a solid D- with a note just like my actual report cards growing up saying Tara was ‘not living up to her potential’.

Pushing myself to live like I did back in my Bible College days was an overwhelming thought to me. Just giving into inconsistent upheaval wasn't settling well either.  Was there a way to connect with God consistently in the thick of big family mom life without compromise or collapse?

Now that I’m a homeschooling mom of eleven children I’ve done this merry-go-round of self-recrimination and introspection a few times.  I’ve grown in grace and skill that helps me balance my priorities in different seasons of life.  Here are three keys that have made all the difference.

1 - Resting In Relationship

A major turning point came when I gave myself grace to explore the deeper fear. The fear that I wasn’t living up to my God given potential. To what God expected of me. The report card idea. Using a gentle, simple heart gardening approach I use when I’m struggling with fear and self-accusation I uncovered some deeper roots. From there I was able to rest in my relationship with God knowing He wasn’t rating my worth or His love on my performance.  Christ paid the ultimate price for me through His willing sacrificial death. He lives and my life is hid in Christ (Colossians 3:3) A key verse that anchors me in this deeper level of trust is Isaiah 40:11, “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;  he gently leads those that have young.”

2  - Free From Comparison

I’ve heard it said that “comparison is the thief of joy.”  Comparing myself to my former self from ten years earlier whilst a newlywed at Bible College or other moms with 1.2 children like the Western average, or even admirable Christian women in the big family mom world like Nancy Campbell is a trap.  It is God’s patience, forbearance & kindness that leads anyone to repent (Romans 2:4) whereas it is Satan who falsely accuses.   I choose to be inspired by other women rather than in competition with them. Being free from comparison released me to embrace the season of big family life I was in with more grace and lay hold of His gentle leading for me as per the verse above.

3 - Consistency Over Quantity

When my devoted Bible reading & prayer times shortened in length or became inconsistent (by days or weeks) I would beat myself up.  Now that I have nothing to prove or earn from God through Christ I choose a time that is more consistent instead of making duration my barometer of faithfulness. I've tested a few times of day and approaches to find one that is consistent & rich. The one that has been working beautifully for me through the last 2 babies and many ups and downs is sharing a 2 year Bible reading plan with my husband through the YouVersion App. I do this prayerful pause before I start the day whilst still warm in the covers.  We can leave notes for each other to read in the app with comments, reflections & prayers for each other.  Prayer is woven throughout the day as I draw my children in for hugs, put the littles down for a nap, sit for a meal, wash the dishes or do other stay at home mom tasks.  When I say I’ll pray for someone I pray, immediately a short, sincere and perfectly real prayer.

These changes of heart and mind have overflowed into my day to day and allow me flexibility during the longer and many seasons of newborns that big family moms experience.  I’ve let go of the rulers, report cards & recrimination to rest in relationship, free from comparison and enjoy imperfect consistency over quantity.

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If this blog blessed you feel free to join my Big Family Moms community where I have lots more resources and encouragement for moms like you overcoming struggles and growing in grace. Here's the link if you like.

 

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