Scared of Multiple Csections


"What are you scared of?" I asked my husband in the dark.

We should have been sleeping. The newborn twins were finally asleep and our 2 year old would be awake shortly after dawn.  Instead of sleeping like sensible young parents in the thick of life we were up way too late facing our fears of trusting God completely with our family size (aka - bye bye birth control!)

"I'm scared I'll never get another good night's sleep again!" he said ruefully.

"Well I'm scared my guts will fall out!" I hotly declared.

I explained.  We'd had 2 c-sections in 2 years. If God kept blessing us with children every 2 years I could easily bear a dozen kids by mid-forties menopause. What would multiple cesections do to my body? Would I die? At the very least what would happen to my abdominal wall? My guts?

We let go of our fears and chose to trust God that children really were a blessing even if the road was a hard one.  Months later, pregnant with #4 and facing my third c-section, my ob gyn reassured me that there was no medical reason we could not have a high number of c sections.  So we have continued to trust God through numerous pregnancies & c section births.

Pregnant with #8 I developed an incisional hernia. Basically a tear from the weaker scar tissue that creates an opening for the abdominal stuff - my guts - to pop out a bit.  It’s painless but not pretty. I’ve learned to support it with a hernia belt I wear at all times when I’m standing & dry.  Left alone the skin would stretch and..well, I’ve seen some pictures on Google I can’t unsee.

Since we are committed to welcoming children as a blessing until menopause (barring severe or life threatening circumstances) getting a traditional mesh to fix the hernia was impractical. So each c section birth a general surgeon is present to do a manual repair until then next birth.  They’ve held for a few months postpartum then the hernia opened up again.

Hard things can happen during pregnancy.  Facing multiple csections can be intimidating because of the unknown. Had I given in to fear of the unknown years earlier I never would have known, loved or raised the many sons and daughters born since then.  Though it was hard to imagine that night years ago, we are fast approaching a round dozen! #11 due in December which makes it my tenth c section. I should be collecting air miles for this or something! In truth, it’s grace I’ve collected as I grow to know and trust Him more deeply on this journey of motherhood.  His grace has brought me safe thus far, and His grace will lead me home.

If this blog blessed you feel free to join my Big Family Moms community where I have lots more resources and encouragement for moms like you overcoming struggles and growing in grace. Here's the LINK if you like.

 

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