The Power of Words

 


“I can’t!”

“It’s too hard!”

“I’ll never learn this!”

These are common refrains from my 9 year old son when facing a new concept in homeschool.  A new letter combination. A new math lesson. Anything that doesn’t instantly come easy.

I used to feel frustrated with his lack of confidence or willingness to learn.  I’ve even lost my cool a time or two to be totally honest. Especially since he operates at a high volume on a good day and would practically shout these phrases of defeat every.single.time.

Mercifully, I have found a way that helps him face the challenge of a new task.  It helps me stay more calm, helps him change from the inside out and makes the whole learning process easier.

Without super geeking out on brain body connection, this comes down to the fascinating study of neuroplasticity.  Essentially, the pathways in our brain that we carve through our thought patterns.  I believe the Bible speaks to this in Psalm 23:7 - "As a man thinks so he is."

So when we speak words like “I can’t” we are telling ourselves, kind of like computer programming, we can’t. Give up now. There’s NO point in continuing. Our brain receives the message we gave it and we follow orders.

Here’s the wild thing.  We can change our thoughts.  We can change our words.  I’ve been doing this more in keeping with the Psalm 23:7 (and many more that speak of the power of our words to direct our whole lives).

Here’s what I say to him (and to myself when I find myself thinking that something is too hard, I can’t, I’ll never be able to..)

“Right now you are at the bottom of a mountain looking up.  Can you jump to the top in one big jump?” (no)

“Could you do it one step at a time?”(yes)

“I will help you every step of the way.”

I feel myself getting teary as I share these words.  This is the heart of God speaking through and to me.

I will help you every step of the way.

I lift my eyes to the hills where my help comes from and dare to believe that I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I chose my words to align with the truth of His Word and my life changes from the inside out.

My son looks me in the eyes, sees my heart shining through, sees my warm confident smile and he slowly smiles back.  He can. He will. So he does.

That spark of courage is ignited and we take the first halting steps of learning a new concept together.  I keep it short, sweet and simple.  Low pressure with a “we CAN do this TOGETHER” attitude.

This has and does work wonders for his morale and I know it will carry into his adult life as a deeply sown belief about God, himself and others.

What a privilege to come alongside my children in their growing up years.  Homeschooling for us is so much more than academics.  It is in the day to day walking together, speaking words of truth in love that we grow in grace. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

____________________________

 

If this blog blessed you feel free to join my Big Family Moms community where I have lots more resources and encouragement for moms like you overcoming struggles and growing in grace. Here's the LINK if you like.

 

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