What To Do When It’s Dangerous To Get Pregnant Again


I hoped this would never happen to me.

For fifteen years I’ve been trusting God with the timing, spacing and circumstances surrounding welcoming each and every child He entrusted to us.  Eleven children via 10 csections with good recoveries and pregnancies each time.  Until baby 11.

The planned csection was standard & quick. Things took a turn when they were sewing me up. There was a lot of bleeding. Things got really tense for the medical team as they escalated the situation and got my bleeding under control. It took 3 hours to get me out of the OR. I was told then that my womb was, in their estimate, “very fragile’.

Once home, I recovered well and as a veteran mom got into my post partum swing of things easily.  Then baby 11 started sleeping like a champ twelve hours straight at three months. I knew what that meant. My cycle kicked back online shortly. 

I knew it was medically inadvisable, more like medically dangerous, to become pregnant before the baby's first birthday after any csection. Exclusive breastfeeding and God’s providential grace have kept me from becoming pregnant until then  with almost each baby. 

This time I knew something was different. As if the Good Shepherd’s crook was firmly holding me back when otherwise, in my earnest desire to honor God, I’d keep pushing forward.

It’s one thing to write a book on Embracing the Blessing of Children. It’s another thing to live it out. I devoted a whole chapter to the valid question “Is It Ever Ok To Stop?” and broke down our Biblically informed position which I call a ‘Caveat of Grace’.  Whereas the normative posture of a Christian husband & wife is to enthusiastically welcome children there are exceptions, I believe, to the rule.  Medical danger, including mental health issues that are a danger to mom and children, would be grounds to consider obstructing the normal, good process of potential pregnancy. Between you, your husband & God, I give leave to my fellow Christians to work this one out privately free from shame & pressure to do what I may be convicted to do in the same situation.

I did my due diligence and prayerfully sought medical input from our trusted obgyn who has seen me through the last 7 pregnancies & c sections. She compassionately shared that for several reasons including my ‘fragile womb’, ‘advanced’ age of almost 44, and being so early post surgery and even beyond baby’s first birthday, I would now be in a very high risk zone for the worst pregnancy outcomes including potential uterine rupture, massive hemorrhaging, fetal and/or maternal death. 

I hoped this would never happen to me.

It would have been so much easier to just coast into menopause without any serious medical complications. Yet here I am. Walking the walk where the rubber meets the road. Trusting God in a whole new way. 

What helped us make this difficult choice was making it a matter of prayer & fasting with my husband. 

Medical advice alone is limited and we were open to God clearly directing us to literally throw caution to the wind. What was harder for me is taking any degree of control – call me crazy (many have), but giving God full control is easier in many ways.

Trust can be hard. It brings up all my stuff and invites me to lay it all down again before the Cross. My hopes, fears, plans, expectations, marriage, body..all of me.

Trust means letting go of knowing beyond a shadow of doubt. Walking by faith and not by sight (2 Cor 5:7).

So I let go all over again and chose to trust in the good leadership of God & my dear husband (who both heard me share at great length my own input). We chose to intentionally delay the possibility of pregnancy for the foreseeable future. 

I’ve trusted Him on the road of life this far to work all things together for good as He promises (Romans 8:28) and guide me as the Good Shepherd that He is. 

_______________

If this blog blessed you feel free to join my Big Family Moms community where I have lots more resources and encouragement for moms like you overcoming struggles and growing in grace. Here’s the link if you like.

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